Kindness to yourself: the true strength beyond perfection

In a world where comparison with others is constant and the economic and social foundations of the system are based on competition, it is natural to grow by developing strong self-criticism: we are the most severe judges of ourselves. We almost never feel completely adequate or enough, we notice our apparent limits with shame and we hide them even from ourselves, leading to problems such as “impostor syndrome”. This internal tension unequivocally contributes to generating states of anxiety that can grow to the point of bursting into panic attacks.

There are those who use rigor and discipline as a lifeline, stiffening their lives to the point of losing the pleasure of living; there are those who punish and mortify themselves for every mistake they make, eroding their self-esteem step by step; there are those who end up settling for feeling mediocre, indulging themselves but at the same time developing a constant sense of incompleteness… It is difficult to find a human being who has the ability to look at themself with kindness and love, as you would with a true friend.

What if this is the strongest key to a more serene life?

What would happen if instead of criticising and tearing yourself down for the experiences where you achieved less than your best, you learned to look at yourself with curiosity and kindness, that is, with the ability to read the entire story of that experience and not just the result. What if you were able to see the journey behind that goal, the lessons you learned, the personal challenges you overcame, and what still needed to be processed and perfected to feel satisfied and fulfilled by the value of the experience itself?

What would happen if instead of looking only at the goal that you did not achieve, you reflected on the process of creating that goal, what impact your emotional states had on those around you, what you accidentally created while focusing on the goal? You might even discover that you triggered important collateral and positive effects in someone else’s life…

Shift your attention, broaden your focus, stop believing that your results define who you are. This is a very limiting concept. While it is right to strive for the achievement of goals, the journey that takes you towards them says much more about you than what the goal itself manifests. The journey is about how you relate to the world outside you as you help co-create your life experience.

You may discover that you are not the sports champion you imagined you could become or the best performer in your company, but your presence in the team is what really makes the difference, because you are empathetic, you know how to encourage, you create a better atmosphere for everyone… and this is the value you bring; your role helps to hold together and push someone else forward…

Or you may realise that you are simply persisting with a path that is not the best to fully express your talent, you are a fish trying to fly… what is the point of persisting and criticising yourself for something unnatural to you?

Slow down and open yourself to the possibility of looking at yourself with more tenderness and understanding. Just as you are capable of doing with those you love. It is not with harshness and severity that you will get the best out of yourself; your heart wants to be loved, cherished and understood to blossom in all its beauty.